I YAM WHAT I YAM
I bet I’m not the only person who’s been burned by what I like to call
The Popeye Defense:
THAT’S JUST WHO I AM
(therefore; too bad if what I’m doing hurts, irritates, interferes with what you’re doing.).
And the variation:
THAT’S JUST NOT WHO I AM.
(therefore you do the difficult stuff because I’m not cut out for it)
Aside from the personal aggravation there’s an important principle/paradox at stake:
1. YES YES YES I must be true to who I am
2. I can only become my authentic self by stepping outside the comfort zone of who I think I am
It’s the two-dimensional Popeye version of a person that fights to maintain its own limitation; using I AM WHAT I AM as an excuse to stay inside the comfort zone.
(But Popeye’s been drawn by others along the way; parents and teachers coloring in their own fears, desires and beliefs, and grafting on artificial muscle, outfits and habitats.)
In the process of actively sorting through what’s my god-given essential self and what isn’t, I’ve noticed that the most potent actions I’ve taken toward honoring and developing that have required an initial leap of faith wa-a-a-ay outside of the comfort zone. An intuitive step into the unknown that ends up growing me closer to who I really am.
What’s your experience along these lines?
Pay attention
Attention is energy. Whatever you choose to give your attention to becomes more real for you.
It's been my experience that the universe speaks much more loudly and clearly when we're on the wrong track (not that we listen), but at best only murmurs indistinctly when we're on the right one – more often it only gives that positive feedback way after the fact.
I believe Merle Kessler said it best when he observed "too much introspection is a bad thing."
A correlative to the "That's Just Who I Am" symptom is the "Don't Take It Personally" Thrust - - you know, the person who feels he/she can say anything, no matter how cutting or cruel, as long as the phrase"But don't take that personally" or "That's not a criticism" is tagged on
at the end. Cc
It seems to me the key words here are "intuition" and "conscious, free choice". If someone else is instructing me on how to step out of my comfort zone, they may see me clearly and have a good idea what I need, but they also may not. If someone else is just suggesting, then it comes back to my own intuition and choice. Stepping out of my comfort zone usually brings up aversion, dread, or fear... It's up to me to intuit whether these feelings are highlighting an opportunity or a dead-end. Maybe it's about distinguishing a certain sense of vibrancy or aliveness (or lack of aliveness) in the fear. But I need to take a closer look at this! Now it seems to me that almost any form of stepping out of my comfort zone could lead to essential growth, IF I make the choice with full intention and awareness. If I am just doing what I'm told, I see very little benefit.