It’s my policy and mostly my real-live practice to not give advice unless asked – knowing how useless unsolicited advice is and actually how aggravating it can be. However, lately it seems like I’ve been giving plenty of it. I’ve been working on just asking questions and not putting words in people’s mouths. But, every so often, if someone is describing a dilemma that I’ve had mounds of experience with I can’t resist giving examples of what I did in a similar situation. I’m not sure how useful that is – except to share the same boat.
A few weeks ago, after I’d had a long conversation with a friend, she went and did a lot of the stuff that I had thought she’d wanted advice about NOT doing. But as she was describing her actions I could hear the change and relief in her voice because of the decisions she’d made and I realized she HAD indeed opened up her world in a way that was serving her.
One of the other reasons I’ve been cautious about giving advice is because of that nasty bit where I hope the person will get down to it and IMPLEMENT the good advice I have bestowed. So I was very grateful for this moment of freedom – where I could see she had really come to something and it really didn’t matter if it was anything to do with what I’d said.
I absolutely believe people have a deep desire to help each other. And that it’s important to communicate and connect, but I’m wondering:
What is help – how do we really help each other?
Its hard to resist slopping pearls of wisdom but sometimes it feels so satisfying.
And the pearls are so pretty as they hit the air!